I have always dreaded, I mean physically rejected with significant functionality shutdown, any suggestion of performance. Funny that. I have been known to literally crawl under tables (as an adult) when asked to speak publicly. And yet - I love people and my attire would suggest that I have attitude, and courage - which I do...I'm just shy too.
The other month I was trying to learn this Piano thing. I used to play and I love playing but I have this f#*!ing movement issue and it feels like trying to play with frozen fingers. Yes - I'm slowly freezing and it TOTALLY sucks (see the beast named here) but the upside is that I have this window into another world - the one that gets defined by the thing it's not...and sometimes only really exists in this contrary state.
C O N T R A R Y
P E R F E C T I O N
Then, there's this perfectionism, which in it's righteousness becomes fundamentalist and there's no room for the contrary anymore - only the RIGHT - and it that state is spoiled and poisonous.
M A S O C H I S M
On goes the flashlight...
There are things that we can do, and thing that we can't - and in between those two poles there's allot of pleasure to be had - my point is that we miss out on one hell of allot if we can't find some worth in our sub-optimal works and performances too.
And...sometimes that worth is found in the sharing. And then - sometimes it's just better to keep your mouth shut too...which I'm really bad at.
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