March 20, 2011



This is my Ai-bot. Ai means "love" in Japanese. She was going to be the Kabuki-bot - but the magic meatball said it was not to be.  


Today I just woke up sad. It felt pretty good to get out my work tins and start working before the sun came up. I wanted to make boats because it's raining so hard, but this Ai-bot came out instead.

I sifted through the recycling - and I really recommend doing this with your kids. Its magical and like treasure hunting and then the get to transform the rubbish into art! Alchemy. 

This sad creature is what came out. She is crying for Japan and war and for all the people left behind by people who they loved and who are dying.

She dresses a bit like me...

and tears pour down her milk carton body, from her screw top eyes, down her greek yogurt face, through her chocolate wrapper arms...just like me, ok not exactly - although I did help to eat and drink all that stuff. 

She, and I, are not thinking about numbers, or money or policy, or necessary sacrifice, or collateral damage or human shields - in general. 

We are thinking of relationships, of families, of lovers, of friends. We are thinking about the permanence of death, and individuals, of faces and quirks and mannerisms... of all the things that makes each person unique. We are thinking about that. Of great great love and loss.

When I was pregnant with my daughter I had this epiphany walking down State St. with my belly sticking way out. I suddenly was gripped with the fear that I would fall and hurt her in my belly. That I could accidentally kill her by eating the wrong food or doing something, anything. And then it soon as a life is conceived the only sure thing is that it will die. But the world is full of people! We were all born and many of us have made the decision to give birth, and by doing so - introducing a being to this earth with a finite amount of time. Finite. There is always death.

That moment changed me forever. That and a few other things. Life is  too short to not embrace it, not to let yourself love, really love, or not to do things that are different but that you believe in.  I want my daughter to have the richest life possible. I want her to know that she is loved more than anything. That she will always be taken care of by not only family but by a community of people who love her too. Community is so important. Friends are so important. i think about all this when I think about war, about disasters and people not helping each-other, or individuals being referred to as numbers. I will refocus on the individual, on their love. I will focus...while my robot cries.

My love song for today...

The Beetles - two of us

I really like Amy Mann's version but couldn't figure out how to get the sound without a bunch of  "I am Sam" imagery. 

"Focus on the good things little robot, on the love" - she says with tears in her eyes. "Each individual has the potential to change the world!" 

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