December 15, 2011

Final Elevator speech...I'm terrified

Practice makes The ridiculous even more so...don't you think? 

(Go through the fire Holly, through the fire.)

Hey man! I gave BIRTH! Gotta remember that because if I could do that...I can do anything. I mean - I don't have to get up on that stage tonight in a hospital robe grunting. Oh no, I don't. I just have to say that (up there) for 20 SECONDS!

It's not like loosing my voice COMPLETELY that time at the arts symposium when I had to lead a discussion in front of 25 people really hurt me. No - because Nancy Davis was there to shout what I whispered to her. I survived that!

And that time in college I had to lead a seminar...(my topic? Chaos Theory...) and I couldn't even remember what the butterfly effect was (like me tripping on this side of the planet and causing a tsunami on the other side all be it completely unintentionally)  let alone speak for large chunks of time...well......... truthfully that still feels like a giant festering sore. So does the other one, and every time I've run out of a room, or crawled under a table when faced with public speaking...feels awful. Like when you're 50 floors up in a building and you look out a window that you could easily fall out of....and you swoon for a second. It's like that.

It all SUCKS! And now because of some class, I have to do it again. This is SERIOUS! 

How do I get out of this?????

Oh my goodness. I just remembered the time I got laryngitis on the opening of a painting show I had in Arcata. I couldn't speak again! That was the night the White Stripes played in a chip shop 2 blocks away from our house in a tiny tiny room and I didn't go because I was tired. I D I O T!  But that goes without saying.

I think I also remember getting a giant vitamin lodged in my throat that morning.  

Zute Alhors...MERDE! Only two or 3 more hours.


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