September 18, 2011

Who am I? And how you're not me too.

This morning I woke up and started writing.

I was trying to write an "about me" blurb for this blog, but in doing so i felt like I was looking at the school of fish at the Monterey bay aquarium that circle en mass around the heads of the visitors in an impressive glass dome. 

So I looked at a few other blogs and was temporarily inspired...YES! I've got it now.

but just because my housemate just turned me on to the "bloggess" (she's really good) and she mentions ninjas in her "about me" page...

(what I really want is to be a ninja spy...but I haven't been approached by any elite team yet...don't miss out I'm STILL AVAILABLE!)

doesn't mean I can just mention ninjas too and somehow be a blogging bro. Oh no.

What it really means is that I'm just slightly more lame than before, having actually experienced a tingle of excitement at the thought of some sort of ninja sisterhood.

If I weren't interested in who other people were, I wouldn't  be bothered with this annoying "who am i?"...but I am...I mean I AM and I am interested in my fellow chronotropic dwellers. (Chronotrope - it's a good word isn't it?)

Not only that, but I love to get up close and check out the wrinkles, examine their pedicured feet, and I will ALWAYS tell a person if they have a bugger in their nose.

Thanks allot helper dude (you know who you are) Charles for not mentioning that giant piece of lettuce in my teeth last week by the way. NOT helpful...but you were in every other way, for which I am so grateful...minus the lettuce...I'll stop now.

So who am I? 

I guess I am not you. You are you and I am me, je...tu...even in french we're different! It's sooo exotic!

Ensuite je vais a la plage. Non, tu va a la plage...mais nous allons a la plage.

Zute alhors! Illya un grande octopus a la plage! Merde!

our differences are disappearing fast...quick, where to next? (we are one as we flee the beach in fear, en mass, there is nothing particular about this exodus)...

run until you find another detail. Run until you find something you can articulate. Run until you can't run anymore and you collapse into a heap, by yourself, and half chocking for air realize that the grass your nose is pressed into is actually really interesting...DETOUR

and you spend an hour or more just looking at all the action down there...

and you think that life will probably never be boring again. 

It may get heavy and blurry

but this is a rockstar moment. You're euphoric about a patch of grass, a stain on the sidewalk, some gum under a table, a street grate, the corner of an office. It's weird but my god its rich! It might even be better than a ninja sisterhood.

Oh lord. Maybe that's why I don't have a job. 

So...who am I? I'm the mom dressed like a teenager and walking like a pirate on the school yard. I'm the one your children are hovering around and chattering to about the joys of art. I'm the one living with that very cool family down the street in a blue and green room with a def dog and a beta thats had a stroke. I'm the one who crawled in the tree house and drank too much at that fundraiser thank you party. I'm the one wearing dock martins at your law firms partners retreat. I'm the girl who wakes up every morning shaking before her meds kick in (fucking parkinson's - I'll just get it out there) who has her stuff all over your house, and who was addicted to the smell of laundry exhaust at a very early age. 

I am the one on the icy roof ledge walking the length of the block three stories up in the middle of the night. I might have even peed down your chimney pot.  I am the one who tried to wreck your room after I left you. I'm the one with my camera in your face or under a table if public speaking is mentioned. I am the girl who let a homeless 21 year old schizophrenic live on her porch for 5 months while I got him help, and pissed off the neighbors in doing so.  I am the one fish swimming backwards at the aquarium. I am the one who left you 17 times in the middle of the night and who sobbed for 2 days after accidentally cutting a caterpillar in half that was hiding in my broccoli. It's worth mentioning that it lived, in half, and eating, for those two days. 

I'm the girl who despite some serious kicks in her existential shins, is in love with the details of her life and is never bored.

Now - I've got to feed my rabbits.

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